One of the ironies of mindfulness is that it's still
possible to be forgetful, klutzy, or even distracted while
doing our best to pay attention.
Why? We are choosing where to focus and so there are, by
necessity, bits of information that aren't getting the full
laser treatment. It's simply not possible to be mindful of
everything all at once.
That's the beauty of it.
You can shine your mental high beams on, say, fully
connecting with every person you talk to today. While being
very aware of your interactions with others, you might trip on
the edge of the carpet.
Clumsy and mindful may seem like strange bedfellows, but
they are intimate nonetheless.
True story: I know a reference librarian who was in the
habit of reading while walking. One day, she was walking the
two blocks to her house during her lunch break while reading a
new book. She was so completely focused on the words she was
reading that she tripped on the sidewalk, landing in a heap
right there on Ash Street.
Fortunately, this happened in front of the fire station,
and the paramedics came to her aid immediately. Unfortunately,
in addition to her badly-bruised ego, she broke not one but
both arms.
The book she was reading? "Coping With Attention Deficit
Disorder"
You can't make up this stuff!
Mindfulness doesn't lend itself to multitasking--
especially when we need to watch where we're going. One-track
mindfulness is ideal, but two tracks can work if one of them
involves repetitive physical activity. Breathing, washing
dishes, eating, walking, sweeping, swimming? Perfect. Tack on
another--like reading--and you'll end up stumbling, too.
Even if you've never done a faceplant on concrete, chances
are you've developed your own quirky mental editing tricks. We
choose our targets based on what we decide at that moment is
most meaningful.
Your son might be totally immersed in playing the guitar
and forget all about his math homework. Your friend might get
caught up in a woodworking project and forget to call you
back. You might get so absorbed in a conversation with someone
at the grocery store that you forget to buy the bread that was
the reason for your trip.
Mindfulness helps us pay attention, but it doesn't make us
perfect. And that's perfect! It shows us our imperfections
while helping us become less judgmental about them. A hefty
sense of humor helps.
Use mindfulness to help you "step back" before tripping--on
the stories in your head, the swirl of emotions you feel, and
the chaos of your life. Develop the mental agility to step
back, step into and step out of your chosen focus.
You might remain klutzy. You may forget to buy bread. But
you won't end up tripping over what matters most.
Maya Talisman Frost is a mind masseuse offering specialized mindfulness
training in Portland, Oregon. Trained in conflict
resolution, she uses her 25-year meditation practice and
plenty of humor to teach real-world techniques for paying
attention to what matters most. To subscribe to her free
weekly ezine, the Friday Mind Massage, visit
http://www.MindMasseuse.com.
maya@mindmasseuse.com