Stop Self Sabotage
Cold
by Charles Burke
I heard my wife, Shioe, shouting in the other
room.
My wife, a quiet, soft spoken lady at all
times, never shouts, so this was a curious event. I stepped
across the hall into her office to find out more.
She was just hanging up the phone as I
entered, and she was pale and visibly shaking.
Before I could ask what was wrong, she
volunteered, "That was Mr. Kato. He asked me to speak at an
international conference this Saturday (four days away), and
there'll be over 300 people from all over the world at that
thing. I can't refuse him, but what do I do? I'm petrified.
Oh, and the speech has to be in English."
"Well," I offered, "You know that new
technique I mentioned the other day? You want to try it?"
That "new technique" is EFT, a method for
using the Chinese accupressure points to mechanically
rearrange the body's energy pathways and remove "crossed
wires." It literally removes the energy from fears.
If you're not familiar with ancient medical
practices, you may not have heard about accupressure or
accupuncture points. If not, the previous paragraph may sound
like so much gibberish. But even if you HAVE heard of them,
this latest technique may be seriously pushing the limits of
what you're willing to accept.
But back to my story.
I offered to show Shioe the dozen or so points
to tap. Yes, tap. No needles, no massaging, just tapping six
or seven times on each of a series of points in a certain
sequence.
I took her through the one-minute routine two
times, and within those two minutes, her breathing slowed, her
color returned to normal, and the shaking in her legs
disappeared. I asked her how she felt now about speaking at
the conference.
"I've got a lot of practicing to do. I'd
better get busy."
No more paralysis. No more terror. Only a
matter-of-fact eagerness to get started.
And smiles. She was perfectly comfortable with
an idea that, minutes earlier, had had her shaking in her
socks.
Later I went into her office and found her
tapping "to reinforce it, just in case." But still no fear.
That was unarguable proof to me. For as long
as I've known Shioe, she has had a STRONG reluctance to speak
before a group - any group.
She has done brief speeches in the past, for
very small groups of eight or ten, and those were traumatic
enough. But this was an international conference on North
Korean Refugees to be held in Tokyo, and there would be
journalists and representatives from all over the world in
attendance.
Then about five days later, while Shioe was
away in Tokyo, I received an email from an aunt regarding the
antics of a relative of mine. Every time this particular
relative decides to "act up," I react by getting angry,
frustrated and hyper. It's a long-standing reaction of mine.
At the height of my frustration, I sat down,
did a quick round of tapping, and suddenly, in the middle of
it, between one breath and the next, I went from major upset
to delighted laughter. And I haven't been upset since.
Within seconds I found that I'd gained instant
perspective. Now I simply can't quite remember why I was ever
so upset. Oh, I still care what happens, and I want the best
for that relative, but I'm not immobilized by my reaction to
their escapades now. What a marvelous gift.
So what the heck IS this EFT?
Some readers may have already heard of it. But
if you haven't, here's a quick backgrounder.
EFT, taught by Gary Craig, gives you a
sequence of 12 pressure points (5 on the face, 2 on the body,
and 5 on the hand) that can clear away any unresolved tensions
connected with particular experiences or fears from your past.
There's also a 13th point on the back of the
hand, but it's used between rounds of tapping to balance and
engage all the brain's "circuits" equally in the sorting-out
process.
If you'd like to get more details, you can
find a free 80-page PDF manual at
http://www.emofree.com/freestuff.htm.
This manual will give you full instructions
and everything you need to start defusing your own fears,
phobias and challenges. You'll also find dozens and dozens of
case histories there. These case histories outline in graphic
form many of the things EFT has already been used for.
They range from a fear of heights to Vietnam
vets with long-standing post traumatic stress disorder.
EFT was developed by Gary Craig from earlier
work done by Dr. Roger Callahan.
Dr. Callahan, a psychologist with over 40
years of experience, accidentally discovered that tapping on
certain accupoints would painlessly and almost instantly
remove phobic fears. He developed this into a system he calls
TFT -Thought Field Therapy.
EFT is a simplified version that appears to be
fully as effective as TFT, but does not require complex
application strategies.
EFT simply has you tap on all the pressure
points in sequence, rather than trying to determine which ones
require the treatment. It takes a few seconds longer to do a
full round of tapping, but hey, the long version only takes a
minute in total, so why not do 'em all?
But the title of this article mentions
stopping self sabotage. What about that?
One of the most important discoveries by Dr.
Callahan was what he calls "psychological reversal."
He found that the energy flowing through the
body's energy "meridians" can become reversed, as though your
batteries had been put in backwards. The worst part? You can't
feel whether you're reversed or not.
If you're familiar with muscle testing or
kinesiology, you probably already know about this.
When you're psychologically reversed, it does
no good to do affirmations.
You say over and over, "I'm getting richer and
richer," and what happens is the reverse. All that energy
you're feeding into your positive thoughts gets
short-circuited into negative results - your batteries are in
backwards, remember? Then you end up unwittingly sabotaging
all your own best intentions. You don't follow through on
things you fully intended to do. You shoot yourself in the
foot over and over.
I guess nearly everybody has experienced this.
I certainly have. But I never knew WHY it happened. For the
longest time I thought there was just something defective with
me.
Now I know what causes that to happen.
Even better, thanks to EFT, I also know how to
correct it.
There are two spots on your chest and two
spots on your hands that you can tap, and if your energy is
reversed, they will un-reverse it. (But if you're NOT
reversed, tapping them does no harm.)
Un-reversing your energy before you start your
inner work will let your energy be directed where you really
want it to go
This un-reversing may last for anywhere from 5
minutes to an hour, but during that time, you can safely and
effectively do your affirmations, meditations, or
self-hypnosis suggestions. Or your EFT tapping.
Nobody is quite sure why some people get this
reversal more frequently than others, but it IS recognized
that some are more prone to it.
This tendency to reverse polarity doesn't
really matter now, however, because once you tap to
un-reverse, your inner work will be fully effective.
Even better, if you'll consistently un-reverse
your polarity a few times a day (no need to get compulsive
about it, though), sooner or later your body will catch on to
this new pattern and begin staying un-reversed for longer and
longer periods.
Here's how you do it.
Use any one of the four points:
* The "karate chop point" on the side of either hand
* The "sore spot" on either side of the upper chest
about 3 to 6 inches (7-15cm) above the nipple
If you use the karate-chop point, tap rather
briskly (but never hard enough to hurt) using the first two
fingers of the other hand (about 3-4 beats per second) and
say:
"Even though I have this (problem, pain or
difficulty),
I fully and completely accept myself."
Do that three times in succession, and put
some real expression into your statement. Using firm
statements is more effective than a flat, emotionless
statement.
If you use the "sore spot," you'll rub it
round and round rather than tap, but otherwise, the routine is
the same.
That's it. Do it three times, then you're
ready to do whatever inner work you prefer.
And you'll be putting your energy into the
positive aspect of your project. Gone will be the unwitting
self sabotage that you've been getting in the past.
How do I know most people have this experience
of self sabotage? That's easy. The rare person who never
experiences this reversal is accustomed to having things go
right for them all the time.
They are so familiar with everything working
right, always following through properly, always doing exactly
what they intended to do, that they never feel the need to
read self-help books, listen to tapes or read newsletters like
this. With everything working fine, what is there to fix?
But for all the rest of us mere mortals, this
technique is something we've been seeking for years. It gives
us a more level playing field in the game of life, and it
answers that old question: "What made me DO that?"
Will one or two rounds of EFT instantly clear
away every problem, every time? No, it won't. Not every time.
Here's why. Sometimes a problem comes in
several pieces. Take my wife's fear of speaking in public, for
example. It turned out to be a one-piece fear, and she rid
herself of it quickly and easily.
Sometimes, however, that fear may have several
aspects. I might be afraid of the idea of speaking in public.
I get rid of that, then I find that I'm also afraid of all
those eyes looking at me. I do another couple of rounds to get
rid of that, and then I discover that I'm also afraid of
people laughing at me. I might find lots of different aspects
or pieces involved in what I originally thought was one
seamless fear.
When that happens, the simple, logical thing
to do is just keep knocking them down. Sooner or later, I'll
get through all those different aspects of my fear, and then
I'll be totally free. No more fear.
Will it stay fixed? In most cases, yes. It
lasts.
Now, most people, even if they have several
aspects to their problem, don't have more than a handful or
so. In some cases, there might be 10 or 12 different pieces.
Okay, so it takes more than two minutes to resolve a lifelong
fear. Maybe it takes 15 or 20 minutes. Or you might have to
work on things for several sessions. So what?
Contrast that with the number of sessions
typically involved with traditional therapy.
So what's to lose? Nothing but a little time
and effort.
And your fears.
Best of all, this is self-help at its best
because you can do it for yourself.
However, you may not be quite sure how to get
yourself started. You may feel the need to get help from
someone who already knows their way around EFT. If so, go to:
{http://www.emofree.com/Practitioners/referralMain.asp}.
There, you'll find links to hundreds of
practitioners in 40-some states of the US and in 27 countries
around the world.
Can't find a practitioner in your city? No
problem. EFT can be done via telephone, so you can easily work
with somebody hundreds of miles away, or even in a different
country. Distance is absolutely no limitation with EFT.
If you feel like you'd rather start off with
someone you already know, I can accept a few phone sessions,
but remember, you'd be calling me in Japan. If that's
agreeable, drop me an email. I'll be happy to discuss your
particular situation with you and settle on a mutually
convenient time and other details.
Oh, and my wife's speech?
She tells me it couldn't have gone more
smoothly. She flew up to Tokyo, as scheduled, and give her
presentation to those 300 people from Europe, the US and Asia.
And she never felt a flutter. For the first time in her life,
she said she felt absolutely confident while giving a
presentation. Total triumph.
Ready for some of that in your own life?