|
Article Index
1
2
3
4
5
Featured Article:
Email Anti-Theft: The Battle Against
Copyright Infringement
Email Anti-Theft: The
Battle Against Copyright Infringement
Imitation is not always the
highest form of flattery. Any creative individual will cringe
at seeing his or her work displayed with another person's name
in the credits. In the fast-paced field of graphic art, design
the dilemma is even more prominent. Artists in all mediums are
seeing their work knocked-off by less talented people.
-
Mind Is Found Throughout Life
Mind exists throughout life. Even each cell in the body, for
example, has a mind of its own - it knows what its function
is, and it proceeds to fulfill it. The bee seeks out nectar
and makes honeycombs, the ant plays its part in the colony,
and plants use sunshine, send down roots, and make leaves.
This is to say that all living things have a mind of their
own.
-
Are You Asleep?
People are often
accused of being asleep. This assertion is made by people
who believe that they are awake.
-
Diagnosing Asperger's - Changing Our
Focus from Symptoms to People
As a therapist, one
thing which has always sickened me is the way medically
minded folk impersonalize peoples' suffering. They justify
their doing this as that they are being impartial and
scientific, as if symptom relief were the holy grail of
healing, and psycho babble, the requisite sacred text.
-
Why Movie Directors Use Recurring
Dreams
The worst part
about nightmares is their tendency to repeat themselves. An
isolated nightmare may not be cause for alarm, but recurrent
nightmares with the same theme become quite troubling for
most dreamers. The same is true with movie dream sequences.
Directors use the emotional impact of recurring nightmares
to ensure that characters deal with hidden fears and
imminent dangers.
-
IQ Measures Only Three Out Of Seven
Types Of Intelligence
When we talk about intelligence, we tend to think about what
system we can use to measure it. When we talk about how
intelligent a person is, we may think about how high his/her
IQ level is. IQ is the Intelligence Quotient of a person
derived from the equation of mental age over chronological
age.
Creating Workplace Harmony: Discover and Release Hidden Causes of
Tension
There
is nothing that disrupts productivity and satisfaction at the
workplace as much as tension that is not handled and continues
to escalate unchecked.
It is so helpful to take a
step back and discover the truth about anger, what it truly
is, where it comes from, why it arises, and how to stop it on
the spot. To do this, we must open our eyes and disengage from
the many lies anger tells us. Anger tells us many lies. One
common lie it leads us to believe is that there is little we
can do to stop feeling that way. Nothing can be further from
the truth. We always have a choice about how to handle the
feelings that arise.
Anger Is A Choice We Make
Believe it or not, anger is a
choice we make. We feel justified in being angry, and this
justification stokes the flames and keeps the problems alive.
Once this justification sets in, we choose to hold onto our
anger until we can get revenge. In order to choose out of
anger, we must first truly realize the terrible toll it takes
upon us. The best gift you can give yourself is a diet from
anger, one kind each day.
Why We Choose Anger
Why would we choose anger?
For starters, many become addicted to anger. Anger gives a
false sense of power and strength. A false sense of
decisiveness is created. It becomes easier to take action
(though the action is almost always off base).
However, the rush an
individual gets from anger is counterfeit, a substitute for
real strength. After the anger passes, and the consequences of
the anger set in, the person usually feels weak and depleted.
Often there is considerable regret for words spoken or action
taken rashly. Real strength includes the ability to refuse the
false rush anger brings us, to have the power to see the
entire situation for what it really is and respond with
clarity and compassion.
Anger also can become a
person's identity. Some of the identities anger assumes
includes the tough guy, the bully, the martyr, the controller,
the tease, the passive aggressive person, who will give you
what you need after you've asked for it a hundred times.
"Who would I be without my
anger?" people say. When one is addicted to anger, it becomes
the person's identity. They feel that without their anger they
would become weak, a doormat. Anyone could do what they wanted
to them. Actually, the opposite is true.
Putting A Stop To Anger
Contrary to popular
expectation it is not at all difficult to release anger. When
we are in a dark room all that is needed is a little bit of
light in order for the darkness to disappear. The same is true
with anger – all that is needed is for a little compassion and
wisdom to enter the situation and the darkness of anger
quickly subsides. When an individual feels accepting of
himself, when he/she feels loveable and strong, what need
would he/she have of anger? Then, compassion is always a
natural response. When an individual feels strong and good
about him/herself, they will not see others as enemies, but as
friends. At that time, of course, it will be difficult to keep
the flame of anger to keep burning.
Steps To Releasing Anger
Quickly
There are different ways of
releasing anger easily. However, the first step is the
willingness to do so. Ask yourself if you are willing to do
this. If you are not, stop for a moment and become aware of
the effects of anger, has it hurt the person you are angry
with as much as you? What price have you paid for the anger
you hold onto?
Once you determine you are
willing, there are many easy steps to take to rid oneself of
anger. Below you will find a summary of some steps to take to
stop anger on the spot. It is good to be able to choose your
own response, not to be at the mercy of anger within.
1- When anger arises, do not
justify it, but see it as a poison. Feel the emotion, as it
is. Do not repress and deny the anger, but simply experience
it fully, and then put your attention on something else. As
you do this, the anger has no chance to take hold. It simply
flows through your being and dissolves.
2-When anger arises, look for
the best about that person. Find something wonderful about
them, and if possible let them know. Rather than focus upon
what is bad or negative, immediately change your own point of
view. Watch how things change then.
3-When anger arises, put the
situation in the largest possible context. Anger acts to close
down our perception. Immediately open your perception up.
Remember this is not the end of the world. It is only one
small incident. Put it in the context of an entire life.
4-When anger arises, stop
telling yourself that the other person is wrong and you are
right. Let them be right for a little while. Tell yourself
that you have plenty of time to be right later on. It is more
important to preserve harmony than to be right at that moment.
(When the anger subsides you'll get a whole new view of the
situation anyway).
5-When anger arises, think of
some ways in which that person has been kind to you. Find a
way to acknowledge that. Speak kindly to the person.
6-When anger arises realize
that what you give the other person, you will simultaneously
receive in return. Ask for another way to see the situation.
Wait and allow a new perception to arise. Just wait. It's okay
to say and do nothing.
7-When anger arises, say to
yourself, "Like me this person has suffered, like me this
person is trying to be happy, like me this person will face
loss and death."
8-When anger arises, do not
take it personally. Realize that how this person behaves says
more about him/her than about you. Realize they are someone in
pain, lashing out, calling for help.
The way we view the other
very much affects our response to them. You cannot control the
way the other behaves, but you can control the way you choose
to see them. Choose positivity, choose health. Do not choose
to be caught in the quagmire of pain.
Life is a flow and process -
in this flow we all contain everything. Good turns to bad and
the other way around. Someone who is very angry one moment
always has the possibility of waking up and being filled with
love. For everyone, there is always the possibility of change,
growth and renewal. When you see others that way, you help
them grow,d are able to activate their inner resources and be
the best they can.
Dr. Brenda Shoshanna, psychologist, speaker, and author
of The Anger Diet, (30 Days To Stress Free Living),
http://www.theangerdiet.com, offers a program creating
workplace harmony for organizations. Program deals with
constructive anger management, healthy communication,
relationship balancing and creating natural harmony. Contact
her directly at
topspeaker@yahoo.com, or visit her website at
http://www.brendashoshanna.com
to
answering service - or to Article Index
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9
10
11
click for top
|
.gif)
