The Art of Reading People 

When we meet a person for the first time, we are usually unaware of it but we have taken a psychosomatic snapshot of them within the first few minutes of the encounter; some people even claim to have a special gift for instantaneously assessing people whom they meet. Allegedly, such technique for reading people or getting an immediate take on them actually exists. As embellished as it may sound, there lies some truth to it; and no, a person doesn’t have to be a psychic or possess any extrasensory abilities to do so.   

People whose livelihoods subject them to being in constant contact with other people such as waiters, salespersons, and police officers naturally develop the skills for “sizing people up at a glance”.  Therefore, one of the fastest and easiest ways to develop these skills would be by putting yourself in a position of having to deal with people directly. Some ideas would be devoting a portion of your time into volunteer work or taking on a part time job.  

The actual study of the psychological aspects of this speculation offers very little insight on the reality of dealing with people; rather focusing more on personality type and other things of unfeasible value.  It deals with understanding the mechanics and philosophy involved; for instance, studying the cold truth about mannerisms and their meanings, determining what a certain tone of voice may insinuate, or how the circumstances of a person’s environment may influence their behavior. But these things can not compare to the concrete observations of facial expressions and body language such as posture and muscle tension which can only transpire through personal contact. Unquestionably, this demonstrates that “reading people” is just as much of an art as it is science.  

The best people readers are those who have learned to combine the two. Nothing beats practice; not even reading every book on every shelf of every library that has to do with body language. It is plain and simple, knowledge without practice will indeed brand you a great reader of much intelligence, but it certainly will not crown you the preeminent reader of people. 

There are several techniques that once put into practice will help you to develop the mindset necessary for such skill to become second-nature. It is imperative for you to be comfortable in social settings; enough so that you are able to detach yourself emotionally and become an objective spectator from afar. You must be able to look beyond the superficial, disregarding things such as physical appearance. Methodical fact gathering and detailed analysis is also imperative, and goes hand in hand with clear thinking and neutrality. Pay close attention to people’s facial expressions, particularly the mouth (the way it is set) and the eyes. Observe the activities and changes in the lines of their faces and also its features; especially the eyebrows, forehead and lips—tune in to subtle, unspoken clues and entwine it with their words, the way their words are presented, their gesture and tone of voice. 

The two basic techniques used for figuring people out are by means of the active (invasive) and passive methods. The “invasive” method involves much probing and provoking people in order to get a reaction out of them; basically asking a lot of questions in a refined manner. Another way is by deliberately throwing cues at them just to see how they respond. The “passive” method relies more on awareness and focused attention rather than intrusive ways to read people. Intuition, observation, logic, and the gathering of impression are the sufficient tools necessary for a quick, yet accurate analysis. It is the more artistic approach of capturing the essence of a person in a glimpse.   

Now for the more in-depth stuff--are you ready? There are four principles when it comes to reading people. They all rely on your ability to put them into practice, subsequently backing your analysis up with your own experience and intuition to come to a final conclusion. 

Establish a baseline. First and foremost, you must establish the baseline. When you begin to read a person, start off by studying their behavior. Compare the way they are acting at the particular moment to their usual manner. Observe if they are in a comfortable state; in a familiar environment, surrounded by those they know and are completely comfortable with. If so, they are in their baseline state, which is the standard from which you will go by in order to make your assumptions.  
 
Patience is essential, especially when a situation does not allow you to observe these things. Time is one sure way that you will learn a person’s normal behavior.  Practice on people that you already know; trying to discover their baseline should be easy, providing that you already know how they normally act. 

Consider the whole picture in order to recognize patterns. Our minds were designed to process only a limited amount of information at one time; therefore it is very selective when it comes to choosing what to retain. It is important that we learn how to filter out the things that aren’t so important so that the more significant information is brought to the forefront.  Look for certain patterns or groups of relating gestures that coincide with specific behaviors. Observe the “whole” picture (you cannot correctly analyze a person until you broaden your view); one or two traits by themselves hardly ever tell a person’s complete story. Expanding your views to see the entire picture is extremely important because it isn’t until you learn to see in patterns that you will start to “see” things consistently and the true person will be revealed to you. Combining your first impressions with provided information, their behavior, tone of voice and environment should pretty much tell you all you need to know about a person. 

By challenging and refining your presumptions, you will be able to come to a conclusion. Reading a person’s body language must first start with the observation of their character in order to become accurate, and in order to know a persons character you must be able to recognize certain patterns in them and everything that they do. One way to determine a person’s true personality is observing how they are in situations where they don’t have to put on an act. 
 
Consider some of the many aspects of their environment such as their home or work space. Take notice of things such as flowers or plants (which indicates a person who adores nature or appreciates beauty), Books and reading material, artwork, photographs, the layout and decoration of the home and look for things where a persons personal space is in contrast to their general persona. A person’s car and clothes just like their home will reveal a great deal about them. For example, a person who wears expensive clothes but has a run-down home may indicate the need for them to maintain a certain public image. Or a car that is messy and unkempt may reveal a person who is unorganized. 
 
Paying attention to the company a person keeps and how they choose to spend their free time will most of the time provide you with more insight to their personality and interest. Furthermore, a person’s appearance can reveal additional clues into their beliefs, emotions and personal values. Take things such as tattoos, piercing, jewelry or excessive jewelry, clothing style and hygiene into consideration. There may be certain extremes that signal certain alarms that a person may be attention seeking, insecure, rebellious, self-centered or just don’t care about much at all. 
 
A person’s tone of voice can be observed as “hidden messages” that play an important role in determining what they are really saying. People who are soft spoken may indeed signal a lack of self confidence but that isn’t necessarily the case. A soft spoken voice can have many different meanings unlike a loud demanding voice which indicates a need to control their environment. A soft voice could just mean a person is exhausted, depressed or unemotional; but it could also indicate a person who has a calm demeanor or is self assured. It may also signify a person’s arrogance in a manner that they feel that others need to listen more and talk less if they want to know what they have to say. 

It is so important to take everything into consideration when it comes to reading people. After a baseline is established and you are able to recognize certain patterns, you can refine your assumptions either through questioning or by taking on the passive approach. Only until then will you be able to come to your final conclusion about a person. It is loads of fun and there isn’t much to it besides focus, patience, practice, practice and more practice. 

Written by Aiyana Rayne
Staff Write for The Successful Office Group

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