Can You Say "No" at the Office and Still Be a Team Player?

A few years back, the department I worked in was having a meeting, during which management explained how we'd need to assist customer service in answering phones during lunch breaks and peak times. They concluded by asking if anyone among us would have a problem with doing just that.

Immediately, I raised my had and said, "I do." I was the only one.

A few weeks later, one of my coworkers groused to me about how it wasn't fair that I was the only one not answering phones. She was genuinely annoyed.

"I didn't want to answer phones either," she told me.

"You had the same opportunity that I did," I responded. "You all did."

Like many people, my coworker had learned that it's not okay to say "no" at the office, that to be a team player means always saying "yes" when asked to do something.

So where does the truth lie? Is it ever acceptable to say "no" to a request at work?

Saying "no" at the office is a tricky business at best. Nobody will dispute the importance of being a team player, and being a team player often means being flexible, agreeable and adaptable. But sometimes for reasons both personal and professional, saying "no" is equally as important.

In my case, I'd been honest about my feelings about customer service since the months immediately following my hire. The day that I have to start answering customer service calls is the day I'll have to tender my resignation I'd told my boss over the years. So it came as no surprise to anyone that I'd spoken up at that meeting.

And the truth was that I said "yes" often enough to make that one "no" acceptable. I often took on jobs that others shied away from or tackled special projects that were unpalatable to other staff members. I'd earned my "no".

So what are the dos and don'ts of saying "no"?

Do make yourself indispensable in your job. Doing so often gives you a little more leeway to say "no" to something you really don't want to do.

Don't make a habit of saying "no". Try to be a team player and be open to most requests.

Do try to back up your "no" with a reason. Many bosses are more receptive to the occasional "no" if you have a valid reason for it.

Don't be afraid to speak up. If you're saying "no" to something because you're uncomfortable with the task, say so. If you're afraid that to comply means to jeopardize your other responsibilities, say so.

Do compromise. Amend the "no" with a "yes" to something else, or a suggestion for a way to meet in the middle.

Don't hesitate to turn to your company's human resources department if you feel that there's a need for mediation. That's one of the things they're there for.

Do be professional when you're saying "no" to something. Bosses are a lot more receptive to employees that are reasonable.

Don't say "no" when you're new on the job. New hires should meet all reasonable expectations to perform their job duties.

Above all else, know the expectations of your job. Know your boss and the company. If in doubt, talk to your boss or the human resources department before doing anything that makes you uncomfortable, including saying "no" to something.

I never did answer customer service calls at the office, and I think, eventually, my coworkers understood and respected my decision to speak up at that meeting and to say "no" to the prospect of answering phones. In the end, it didn't make me the office villain.

Saying "no" does involve uncertainties, but it is possible to say "no" in the office and still be a valuable employee.